Lying
Core-fact dishonesty: lies about where he was, who he was with, whether he is single. The things a relationship stands on, as opposed to the harmless kind.
What it looks like
- A story that changes when you ask a second question.
- A detail from a friend that does not match what he told you.
- His dating profile, still active, and a reason ready when you mention it.
Why it is easy to miss
Most of a lie is plausible, and checking feels like becoming someone you do not want to be. So you take the plausible version and file the mismatch as a misunderstanding. One mismatch can be a misunderstanding. A series in the same direction is something else.
What it is not
White lies and privacy. He does not owe you every thought, and “I’m fine” is not a core fact. The pattern is about the load-bearing facts: where, who, whether.
What to do
- Write down what he said, when, and what you later learned. Keep that apart from how you felt about it.
- Ask once, calmly, and watch whether the story shifts or clarifies.
- Decide in advance how many mismatches you need before you believe the direction, and hold yourself to it.
How Bondary reads it
The Tape is a dated timeline of what he told you. When a later entry contradicts an earlier one, the contradiction is on the record in his words and yours, so you are reading a pattern instead of relitigating a feeling. She names it when the direction is consistent, and the Vetting Score moves with it.
She never tells you to leave. She shows you the pattern and the entries it came from, and the decision stays yours.
Tell her about someone.
Bondary is an AI dating coach who's on your side. She keeps the record and gives you an honest weekly read. For iPhone.
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